Love Hurts..... :(

So, how many of us have had someone we have a lot of feelings for, but when you get mad you put on that hard shell? Even though, you hurt so much inside and want everything to be alright, you just don't want to look weak. Well, that's me! I have to be the one that always has the last word, and my favorite thing to tell somebody is I don't need you, when that is not always the case. I will sit and not call and act like I don't care, when deep inside I'm hoping he will think of me and call. Just sitting there dying inside hoping he is thinking about you as much as you are thinking of him. I'm so stubborn I know, but I feel that in the past I have opened up too much and it got me nowhere but hurt. I know it sounds bad that I decided to take what happened in the past and let it be the reason I am the way I am, but I can't help it; I don't want to get hurt. So, from now on do I let my guard down and risk it or be prepared? I'm just really confused.